i’ll do one. i’ll be honest, too. im in a rut and my own enemy is myself, the greatest enemy of all of which i can never mangage to conquer or defeat. my whole life has seems worthless, childhood memories faded away, and if only i could bring it back. im doing horrible in school, and im a mess at home. dorming was a way to get away from everything i have here, but it hasn’t worked, and i know nothing will anymore. everything that has once seemed so perfect, has broken into pieces. why does everyone want to stay here? can you honestly say you’ve had more good times in your life than bad times? no one can help me, and its okay, because ive never asked for help.

i cant get rid of this bad feeling in my stomach, and its been making me sick, and i know im not actually sick, its all coming from my head. everyone i love deserves so much better than what i am able or willing to give them. nothing is permenant, and i know that now. i dont know how to get out of this, and im not even sure if im trying, maybe im making too much of a big deal, and overanalyzing every little thing. but i dont belong anywhere anymore, not here, not there, nowhere. i have no friends, and i can openly admit that, because no one knows the actual person i am, and im scared that no one ever will. its time to move on, so i’ll see you all in the next boat.